Mid-Life Monster Manual

THIS BOOK PROVIDES A MOSTLY COMPLETE ALPHABETICAL LISTING OF “MID-LIFE MONSTERS” ENCOUNTERED DURING THE YEARS OF MIDDLE AGE AND IN THE VARIOUS WORKS THAT MAKE UP THE YOUR BASIC PARODY SERIES. IT IS AN INVALUABLE AID TO GROWING GAMERS AND GROGNARDS ALIKE!

For Example: MISPLACER BEAST

FREQUENCY: Annoyingly common as the years go by.

NO. APPEARING: 1, although it feels like many, many more.

MOVE: Constantly, and it’s never where you thought it was.

HD [HIP DICE]: 4-10, increasing with each (dis)appearance.

% IN LAIR: 50%, and also found in the car and at work.

SIZE: Frustratingly miniscule.

You’re sure you know exactly where to find your keys. You always leave your reading glasses in the same place. When you put something down, you remember its precise location...until the Misplacer Beast attacks! Suddenly, you have a 50% chance of missing something, as if all of your belongings are phasing in and out of existence...